“Why are you packing your bags!?” Roxanne cried when she woke up the next morning. I stood with my back to her and stuffed clothes in my bag, “I’m gonna … go home.”
“Dude, you are home. You’re just the only one who doesn’t see that apparently.” Said Roxanne who stood up and sat down on my bed.
I didn’t answer.
She sighed, got up and went to get dressed. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving without saying goodbye?” She said. I looked at her, “fine then, I wont.” She gave me a push, “Mika! Whats bothering you! Geez! “
I stared at my chest, “I don’t kn- ‘
“Don’t lie. What’s so bad about being in love? “
“What are you afraid of? A rejection? What would happen then? Is there a crack in the earth through which you will disappear? ” Said Roxanne.
I just can’t bear the thought of seeing him every day and know that I have like a zero point zero … ” I bit my lip. Roxanne looked at me with a tilted head, “chance?” She finished my sentence. I nodded. She walked to the door, “I’ll talk to you tonight. Because if I can help it, you’ll be going nowhere.” Then I heard the door shut and she was gone.
Yes, I knew myself that it wouldn’t be the solution to your problems to run away, but I felt that I could not do otherwise at this time.
I dragged my suitcase from the bed to the hallway when I sawAlex and Marie coming out of the bedroom. At the same time they got a red head. I smiled, “was it cozy?”
Alex jumped from one leg to the other, ‘yeah err… ”
I raised my hand, “Please, spare me more than that.” I turned to remove the latest stuff from my room when I heard the door open. At first I thought that Marie and Alex had gone through it, until I heard the voice in the doorway: “Tell me this is a joke.”
I remained standing petrified, with a statue in my hand.
“Are you really leaving?”
“How did you get in?” I asked with my back to him.
“Well, you seem to have made a very good friend here recently. Who also thinks this is ridiculous.” Said Hatter.
Now I turned with a jerk, “she has given you the key!?” I cried. He threw it up and caught it again, “yep.”
I plopped down on the bed.
“So, does Delilah know you’re leaving?”
“So you wanted to leave without even telling anyone?”
I stared at the statue in my hand, “maybe.”
He sighed annoyed, “please, Mika, stop fooling me.”
I stood up, finally stuffed the statue in my bag and dragged those to the living room, “well, fine. I’ll just say it then. Yes, I’m leaving. Indeed without telling people. Got a problem with that?” Outch that was a bit angrier than I meant. For a moment Hatter didn’t know what to say, but when but then he got angry, “Coward!” I glared at him, “what makes you think I care about what you call me? Go ahead! But I’m going!” I pulled a bag over my shoulder but he pulled me back by the band. “You’re not going anywhere until we get to the bottom of this,” he said menacingly. He looked at me so intently that I slipped the bag from my shoulder on to the ground and plopped on the couch. Rebellious I looked the other way. He made tea and sat down next to me, “explain. Because nobody understands it anymore.”
I still didn’t look at him, not because I didn’t want to, I just couldn’t. Not without the feeble knees and a stomach full of butterflies.
“He held out a cup of tea. And I took it, “tea does not solve everything,” I said.
‘Oh it does, take a sip. “
He did not sound angry anymore.
I didn’t listen and continued to look outside.
“Have we done something wrong? Has Alice done something wrong? “
How could I ever explain how painful it was to hear him say the name of Alice? This was ridiculous. Where and when did this happen?
“Have I done something wrong?”
“Then what’s going on?”
Finally I turned around and looked at him. Eventually I got up and walked to my room. “… Don’t be angry.” I put the picture on the table and looked the other way. From the corner of my eye I saw that he took the picture and looked at it. To my surprise I heard him sigh deeply, “I think … I owe you an explanation.”
I looked at him, ‘Why?’
“Everything. It’s fake. There is nothing between me and Alice.” Now he was the one who didn’t look at me.
“Huh? What?” I asked confused.
“Yes. It was … say a joke. Because you were so determined to link me and Alice … “
I did not answer. And Hatter looked at me, “do you mind?” I sat back down next to him, “no. I should have seen it coming. “
“I wonder where it went wrong.”
“With me?” I asked surprised. But I was even more surprised when he shook his head, “No, with me. I mean, it was all my idea, but … “
I looked at him, “Yes?”
He fumbled with his gloves and still didn’t look at me.
I got no answer. I grabbed his hands, “Hatter what is it? Who has changed? Me? You? Alice?” I stood up and began to pace, “really, I’m confused. I don’t get it anymore! I mean, yeah, I think you and Alice are super sweet and fun together, and you belong together. But I can not help that I-‘
Hatter appeared in my vision he gently grabbed my head in his hands, leaned over to me and pressed his lips on mine.
I stood rooted to the spot.
When he looked at me he smiled, “finally you’re quiet.”
I could only look with big eyes, not knowing what to do with all the feelings that kiss had loosened. He looked at me, “Mika?”
“Thank god, you’re still answering.”
“Why did you …”
“Because I really wanted to do that for a long time. But did not realize it, I think. And … you just kept talking about me and Alice… Alice was the one who pointed out to me that maybe we should stop pretending, because she saw what it did to me. And you, of course …”he stammered scratching the back of his head.
“But what will everyone s-,’
Again he pressed his lips on mine. But this time it didn’t surprise me, and I pulled him closer to me by his collar.
“So you’re staying?” He asked with his mouth still pressed against mine.
“How long you want me to stay.”
Again a smile, “ provisionally … forever.”